Supporting Your Child and Teen Through Grief
Grief is one of life's most difficult experiences, and for children and teens, it can be especially confusing. As a parent, you may feel unsure of what to say or how to help them navigate their healing journey. While there isn't a perfect way to support a grieving child, we've shared some helpful strategies below for supporting your child or teen through grief.
Remember: There Is No Timeline
Grief is often described as a tumultuous journey, like a rollercoaster or ocean waves, rather than a straight line. For children and teens who are grieving, this is no different. They may seem to bounce between emotions that conflict with each other, which can make it confusing to know how to support them. It's important to remember that it is common and natural for them to move in and out of grief as they process emotions in manageable pieces.
Create a Safe Space
Children often take emotional cues from the adults around them. Let your child or teen know that all feelings are welcome, whenever they show up. Sometimes simply sitting quietly together is more comforting than finding the "right" words. Instead of trying to fix their emotions, try responding with empathy:
"I'm glad you told me."
"That makes sense."
"I can see how much you miss them. It's okay to cry."
This kind of steady, present support is at the heart of what we call co-regulation. If you'd like to learn more about staying grounded for your child while they process big feelings, take a look at our post on The Power of Co-Regulation.
Answer Questions Honestly
Children may ask questions about death, what happens to them when they die, or other tough questions. Answer using simple, age appropriate language and avoid confusing phrases that younger children might misunderstand. If you don't know the answer, that's okay too. Let them know, and consider offering to explore the answer together.
Help Them Remember
Many children and teens worry they'll forget the person they loved. Encourage healthy ways to keep the memories alive, such as:
Looking at pictures, videos, or scrapbooks
Sharing favorite stories, funny times, or memorable moments
Creating a memory box or memorial
Writing letters or drawing pictures
When to Get Additional Support
Sometimes children and teens benefit from additional support, especially if they are experiencing:
Persistent sadness that doesn't improve or lessen over time
Ongoing or increased anxiety or panic
Significant changes in school performance or attendance
Extreme withdrawal or isolation from friends and family
Risk taking or self destructive behaviors, especially in teens
Expressions of hopelessness or wanting to die
Early support can help children and teens process their grief in healthy ways and prevent them from feeling alone. If you're unsure whether it's time to reach out, our posts on How to Know if Your Child or Teen Needs Therapy and When Should My Child See a Counselor? can help you think through the signs.
Additional Resources
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
Something Sad Happened by Darby Strickland
Ida, Always by Caron Levis
If your family is navigating the loss of a loved one and you're looking for additional support, therapy can provide a safe space for children and teens to process emotions, build coping skills, and heal. Many children process grief most naturally through play rather than words. Our posts on Why Play Therapy Works and The Power of Play Therapy: A Deep Dive explain how this approach helps kids work through big losses in age appropriate ways. If you're considering starting sessions, What to Expect When Your Child Starts Therapy walks you through what the first steps look like.
Please reach out to us (682) 593-1402 or https://www.reachcounselingtx.com/contact for more information about our services!
You might also like: Helping Kids Navigate Grief: What Every Parent Should Know
Elora Renouf, M.Ed., LPC