Promoting Positive Self-Esteem in Children and Teens

As therapists who specialize in supporting children and teens, we see firsthand how self-esteem shapes the way young people navigate their world. It influences everything—from friendships and school performance to how they handle challenges and setbacks.

When kids and teens feel good about themselves, they’re more likely to take healthy risks, build strong relationships, and persevere through difficulties. But when self-esteem is low, even small obstacles can feel like mountains.

So, how can we help children and teens develop unshakable confidence and a strong sense of self-worth? Let’s dive into some fun, practical, and research-backed ways to boost self-esteem! 😊

Why Self-Esteem Matters

Self-esteem isn’t about always feeling happy or thinking you’re the best at everything. It’s about knowing your worth, even when things don’t go perfectly.

Kids with healthy self-esteem are more likely to:

✴ Try new things without fear of failure

✴ Handle criticism and mistakes with resilience

✴ Speak up for themselves

✴ Build strong, positive friendships

✴ Feel proud of their efforts (not just their successes)

On the flip side, low self-esteem can lead to self-doubt, avoidance of challenges, and negative self-talk. That’s why helping kids build confidence is one of the greatest gifts we can give them!

Confidence-Boosting Activities & Practices

Idea #1: The “I Am” Collage

Grab some magazines, scissors, and glue! Have your child or teen create a collage of words and images that describe their strengths and positive qualities. If they struggle to come up with ideas, help them by asking:

💡 What makes you a good friend?

💡 When have you been brave?

💡 What’s something you’ve worked hard to learn?

Why it works: This activity helps kids see their positive traits visually, reinforcing their self-worth in a creative way!

Idea #2: “Brave Moments” Jar

Encourage your child to decorate a jar and label it “Brave Moments.” Every time they step outside their comfort zone, write it down and drop it in the jar.

Examples:

🌟 “I raised my hand in class today.”

🌟 “I tried a new food even though I was nervous.”

🌟 “I introduced myself to a new friend.”

Why it works: When self-doubt creeps in, they can revisit their jar and see proof that they are capable and courageous!

Idea #3: Role-Playing Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is a sneaky confidence thief! Try this fun role-playing game:

1. Have your child or teen pretend to be their own best friend.

2. Say something they often tell themselves when they feel down (e.g., “I’m so bad at math.”).

3. Then, as their “best friend,” have them respond with kindness and encouragement (“You’re still learning, and that’s okay!”).

Why it works: This helps kids recognize and reframe unhelpful self-talk into self-compassionate, confidence-building words!

Idea #4: Growth Mindset Challenge

A growth mindset teaches kids that effort, not perfection, is what truly matters. Try this challenge: For one week, every time your child says something like…

🚫 “I can’t do this!”

🚫 “I always mess up!”

🚫 “I’m not good at this!”

Encourage them to reframe it like this…

✅ “I’m still learning!”

✅ “Mistakes help me grow!”

✅ “I can try again!”

Why it works: This shift helps kids see setbacks as part of the learning process, boosting resilience and confidence!

How Parents Can Support Self-Esteem

👂 Listen with empathy

Validate their feelings and remind them that they don’t have to be perfect to be worthy and loved.

🌟 Praise effort, not just results

Instead of “You’re so smart!” try “I love how hard you worked on that!” This reinforces confidence in their effort, not just outcomes.

🤗 Be a confidence model

Kids absorb how we treat ourselves, too! Show them what healthy self-esteem looks like by speaking kindly about yourself and embracing mistakes as learning moments.

🏆 Encourage independence

Let them make age-appropriate decisions, try new things, and problem-solve on their own. Confidence comes from experiencing small successes!

Helping children and teens build self-esteem isn’t about making them feel good all the time—it’s about equipping them with the tools and mindset to handle life’s ups and downs with confidence. At Reach Counseling, we love helping young people discover their strengths, develop resilience, and believe in themselves. If your child or teen is struggling with self-esteem, we’re here to help!